Who Believed In You?
A fabulous founder moment!
I recently spent an unforgettable evening at Stanford with extraordinary women I’ve long admired from afar. I’m deeply grateful to have shared time at the table with Dina Powell McCormick, Sheryl Sandberg and Condoleezza Rice— three trailblazing leaders who continue to invest in and inspire others through generosity and example as well as your incredible life stories.
Dina, your and David’s new book, "Who Believed in Me?", couldn’t be more timely in this day and age. Thank you for the opportunity to share my mentorship journey and for your unwavering support of my business, that of Michelle Pusateri, and so many others through Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses network. We’re deeply grateful for all that you do.
On the way down to our meeting, I pondered every aspect of mentorship and what it has meant to me and my journey. I also tried to pinpoint exactly who the most important and transformative mentor had been in my life. I was so nervous to meet these extraordinary women and I didn't know what question would be asked. Should I try to pick the most notable mentor or the biggest aha moment? These questions lead me down a deep journey of memories and experiences from my past. I recalled innumerable moments with special people, most of which changed my life’s trajectory.
I asked myself, what is mentorship to me?
To me, having a mentor is not merely having someone in my life that is there to give me advice and answers to the many hard questions I will face. Finding the answers, especially now with Chat GPT, is not the hard part, it is having the confidence and courage to move forward with the right decision. Mentorship at its heart is instilling confidence in someone. It is guiding a mentee to lead with values and imparting wisdom by example.
In the context of my own experience - who has been my biggest mentor?
Life-changing mentorship happened for me as a child through my family — my parents and, in particular, my grandmother. She lived right across the street from me. Every day after school, I would run to her house and spend time with her. She taught me how to cook, iron my school uniforms and to garden and arrange flowers. She was very loving and supportive. She had a way of weaving sage advice into funny stories of her childhood. Looking back, it was a smart way to share and impart values. She loved fashion and was always impeccably dressed when leaving her house. Although she didn’t have much, she taught me not only a sense of style but also the importance of caring deeply for the few pieces we had. She had a way of making me feel important in this world. When I was a young child at her feet, she would ask, "Can you please taste this and let me know what you think?", as she handed me a silver teaspoon filled with her gumbo. She would make me little teacups of coffee milk (lots of milk, a splash of coffee and heaps of sugar) and we would sit and talk and talk. Her silver teaspoons and tea cups are still my most cherished pieces to this day. She always asked about my day and listened to every detail. She taught me to be a kind person and would correct me if my mouth ever spewed anything unladylike, "E-LIZ-a-beth A-nné", she would say in a thick, Parker Posey, White Lotus-like voice. She encouraged me to explore and to be curious and she taught me to be humble with good values, always leading by example. In my eyes, she was absolutely perfect. This time together showed me the meaning of deep love and helped to not only build my core values, it gave me a foundation of confidence.
Other childhood mentors entered my life as athletic coaches and teachers, many of whom were nuns, brothers and Jesuits. They helped to guide and support my growth while challenging me to reach my potential. I didn’t make my desired sports teams in elementary school being pretty goofy with corrective shoes, but I tried out for everything in high school and found a few sports with coaches who invested in me and helped me to believe in my ability. I graduated the most outstanding woman athlete of my high school because they believed in me and went on to be a college and lifelong athlete.
My high school administration, most of whom were Brothers of the Sacred Heart, were advocates and sent me to an entrepreneur camp where I landed a trip to DC to follow my Congressman, Billy Tauzin, for two weeks. I was then invited back to intern for Congressman Tauzin and to live with his family the following summer. It was a transformative experience for a young girl to get a glimpse into how the country operated and to feel that I could play a part at making a difference. I won’t ever forget the response letters to constituents and businesses that I was asked to write. I remember carefully considering each and every word with a heavy weight to my pen (and keys on the keyboard) and feeling so proud to have been a part of meaningful correspondence and legislation.
In college, my political science professor, Dr. Kathleen Orange, encouraged me to attend school in Guatemala to study Spanish and US - Guatemalan history. This mentor opened my eyes to so many things - I learned Spanish, began to understand US foreign policy (the good, bad and the ugly), and I learned about textiles and weaving - kickstarting a deeper love for fashion and garment making. And even though I was out salsa dancing with my new Guatemalan friends late at night, I would be up early to learn about meditation with Dr. Orange in the early morning. This experience carved a deep love for Latin American culture and people and was formative for my early steps in business.
Fast forward over a romance and major heartbreak with a Dallas Cowboy and a chance new romance that was sparked at the New Orleans Jazz Fest, and I headed West. I landed my first job in the telecom industry in Denver. My first boss sent me to work in Latin America and then on to manage our Asian operations out of Manila, Philippines when I was 25, against the will of his board. He believed in me. Though he was a very stern boss with the quote, “Only the Paranoid Survive” framed on his bare office wall, his trust in me gave this small town girl the confidence to go live, sight unseen, in Southeast Asia and to develop business in a very male dominated place and industry. My courage and self confidence grew because Peter believed in me, and a whole new world opened.
I eventually landed in San Francisco continuing to work in the telecom industry until the bubble burst. With a love of the culinary arts and wine, I began anew in the wine business with Robert Mondavi Winery and yet another mentor took root. On my first day of work, Mr. Mondavi personally welcomed me at his own birthday party and said he was proud to have me as part of his staff. He truly was kind to all and encouraged curiosity, education and excellence with each and every one of us. He supported my studies in wine and invested in his staff with education and experiences across his business. 7am tastings of Cabernet were not abnormal, nor were bocce and Fumé Blanc after work. Working with him and the community he and Margrit built will forever be a special memory.
I went on to marry and was blessed to have two amazing and beautiful children. Although the marriage was not meant to be and it was a very difficult journey to extract myself, I worked through the disappointment by pouring myself into motherhood and combining all of the things I loved- horses, fashion, food and community and started my company, Stick & Ball. As a solopreneur and single mom navigating a bad divorce, I felt, as do many entrepreneurs and single parents, “alone on an island”. I suffered through a couple of panic attacks and lost a lot of weight. My cortisol levels ran high for many, many years. Not surprising, I also had some medical issues arise. Then COVID hit and I had two children at home completely dependent on me financially and emotionally. I powered through trying to remain strong for my kids and for my employees. I didn’t know how I was going to turn the tides business wise and personally. I knew I needed mentoring, in a big way, back in my life.
I joined every business network my fast typing fingers and Google could find. I searched for “them”, whoever they would eventually be, on LinkedIn and attended any networking and business or self help webinar that shared a link. And then, slowly and gradually, the universe began to reopen and show its light. I found a most gifted life coach who helped me navigate the pain of my broken marriage, my self doubt and the tough aspects of single parenting — I am forever grateful for Lady’s most insightful guidance, friendship and support. And then I heard a virtual talk of a fellow female entrepreneur in New York who was a 10,000 Small Business alum. She shared the transformation and support she received from this program and I could feel her gratitude and enthusiasm. I began to fill out an online application before she finished her talk. I eagerly awaited my interview and had tears when I was accepted into the program. I knew at that point that I would no longer feel alone in my venture.
“10KSB”, a partnership program with Goldman Sachs and Babson College, was all that I had hoped for and more. The many teachers and mentors in the program, especially my group mentor, Ian Cain, volunteered many hours and really cared for each of us. They helped us refine our business plans and to get clear on our mission, goals and objectives. They helped me to remember to let my core values guide me with decision making. And, ultimately, these mentors helped me to see and feel that I had the ability to continue being at the helm of my company and I was no longer alone. They re-instilled my confidence.
These many memories surfaced on my drive down to Palo Alto, as I reflected—chronologically—on the many people for whom I’m deeply grateful. I share them with you in gratitude and to hopefully inspire; I could not be where I am today without these individuals. I also share them to encourage you to reach out when you are in need of help and to also pay it forward whenever and wherever you can.
Here is a list of a few networks that may be able to give you a helping hand on your journey.
Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses
North American Leadership Organization
Society of International Business Fellows (SIBF)
And for youth: The Boys and Girls Club
I will never again go through life without the guidance of a coach and a network of mentors — and I will never stop coaching, mentoring, and offering a hand to others.
With gratitude,
Elizabeth
